September marked the beginning of a busy and mostly happy 3 months. Nutcracker rehearsals started the day that school returned for a new year and regular classes the week after. This year, I took 2 ballet classes a week on Tuesday and Thursday evenings. Having the extra class each week made such a difference! Even though I practiced at home using railing bannisters as barres and our large basement as a dance floor, having that extra class with a trained teacher gave me that extra little boost to expanding my dance knowledge and abilities and I could tell that I was improving at a faster rate as a result of this.
Nutcracker rehearsals were typically scheduled for weekends and some Friday afternoons and I found myself at the studio a minimum of 4 days a week! Green soldiers rehearsals were first..I still remember most of it as it was quite fun dancing in a "marchy" sort of way and in the end the battle scene was highly exciting with the green and red soldiers rat king and mice etc. After that came the First Act in which I was the nanny to Clara. The First Act involves the guests arriving, the young party girls and adults performing dances, Clara receiving Nutcracker and such...the party scene was really fun..my only qualm was that I wished to be part of the adults dance. I watched it so much that I eventually learned the choreography!! (hehe) and all the girls dancing were my age and some of whom I went to school with, but again they had years of dance experience over me. Being the nanny was fun though as I got to open up the party scene..So, rehearsals began well and I began feeling excited..that is...until I went to the first trepak rehearsal.
The trepak is the Russian dance involving character shoes..I was excited if not a bit disappointed not to be one of the spanish dancers or in the flower waltz A (the flower waltz B group were all dancing on pointe and more advanced). The first trepak rehearsal was horrible. All of the girls were about 4 years younger than me, and the dance, which was initially to very quick music, got changed as the fast past was too much for some of the dancers. This made the choreography which was quite basic, painfully slow and I felt ridiculous doing it. After the first rehearsal, I went and spoke with my ballet teacher who had seen some of the rehearsal. She said she could tell by my face that I was far from enthused by it. Unfortunately, they'd squeezed enough people into all the roles based on the number of costumes they had and the only thing they could offer me was an understudy role for Flower Waltz A. Since the flower waltz was something I had wanted to be part of (plus the music alone is enough to get me teary-eyed) I accepted and officially left the trepak role.
Then began the whole experience of being an understudy.Initially I was pleased, as I got to attend the rehearsals and learn the dance with the others whom were all in my ballet classes and a few older girls as well and I had no difficulty picking it up. However, when rehearsals got more serious and the room became full of flower waltz B and the rose queen and such, there was no point in me taking part in them any more, but being an understudy meant that I was to stay on top of the dance and attend every rehearsal whether I was dancing or not. Initially I didn't mind but closer to the performance I began to get annoyed as it was becoming obvious that no one was going to drop out or get the flu. There was one girl though who was quite slow in picking up the choreography and made several mistakes right up to the last week of rehearsals..there was a glimmer of hope at one point that I might replace her or this other girl, as the teachers were becoming frustrated but both girls picked up their act in the end, much to my disappointment.
That period in Nutracker with the waltz was definitely a test for me. It was hard to be completely happy about it all since I desperately wanted to dance at least one of the performances in the flower waltz. I understand though that after giving roles out and assigning performances, that they couldn't just take 1 or 2 performances from a dancer just so I could take part. I was infuriated though to overhear two girls in flower waltz A and the arabian dance (one my age who had been dancing since 5 and who was in my classes at school) and the other two, a year and two years younger than me, say that they were only doing nutcracker because their parents wanted them to do it and that they wished they didn't have to. I got upset at home over this a lot and it still upsets me to remember this..as I both knew by now and had accepted the fact, that I wouldn't get to dance in the 2nd act (The Land of Sweets) which to me was the ultimate act of the Nutcracker. But it was very difficult to hear these comments and not be upset and angry as it became obvious how much more I loved dance than they did. I never missed a class, practiced at home and I would bet lots of money that neither one of the girls is dancing now..in fact, I know that 2 of them quit within the year after Nutcracker. So to know that they got to dance waltz, arabian or spanish for all 3 performances when they didn't want to be there while I was left to understudy when I really and truly did want to be there for every second of it, was heartwrenching.
Nutcracker aside, regular classes were moving along well..barre and centre were becoming increasingly more technical and I learned a lot of new steps and felt that I was progressing very well, and by Christmas I had somehow managed to execute a triple pirouette (on my right ride).
Mid-November brought full day rehearsals every weekend and in the last week, rehearsals during school hours which meant missing some class. I remember leaving geography at 11:30 one Friday morning with a friend in the class who was also in Nutcracker. Everyone knew why we were leaving early and I must say, I felt pretty important :)
Another highlight was that many of my teachers went to see Nutcracker. My English and Geography teachers went, as did some others that I'd had in previous years. I received positive comments on my performance which was really nice. Nutcracker was done every 2 years and in the past I'd felt beyond jealous of the girls participating (this was before I began dance of course) and this time I didn't have to..
Nutcracker opened the first Friday in December with a 7:30 pm show, followed by two more shows the following day at 2:30 and 7:30 respectively. I was incredibly nervous to be performing in front of a packed theatre but the nerves brought both adrenaline and excitement as well and all 3 performances went very well and even though I felt bitter about not being in the second act, I felt proud of my dance achievements in the little over 2 years that I'd been dancing.
Being nanny to Clara meant that I also interacted a lot with her "parents" who danced in the adult dance and who were actually teachers in their late 30's who did ballroom dancing but who had done ballet years before..they were Dave and Evelyn and they were unfailingly kind to me and seemed to both know and understand my love of ballet. They knew how much I loved it and were obviously sorry about what happened with Act 2 and disappointed for me but told me to keep my chin up because who knows what could happen in the future. On opening night, they presented me with a lovely card saying how much they'd enjoyed dancing with me and how if they ever needed to recommend a great nanny they'd recommend me and to keep dancing :) Along with the card was a cute Christmas bear with a snowflake santa hat. I was touched. Long after Nutcracker, I used to see Evelyn shopping occasionally while I was working in the bookstore and she'd always stop and chat, give me a big hug and inquire about how ballet was going and comment on how much she loved that I loved it so much..the last time I saw her was a little over 2 years ago. Her last words were "keep dancing girl" :)
The following Monday at school, I walked into English to see a small Christmas bag on my desk. Inside was a card thanking me for an enjoyable performance and a Nutcracker christmas tree ornament from my teacher. Another girl in my class in Nutcracker, had also received a gift and card. We were both very surprised and pleased.
The end of Nutcracker came a week before school let out for Christmas holidays and the holidays brought some snow and a lovely Christmas present from my Mum of 2 beautiful and expensive ballerina book holders :)
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